Monday, 2 April 2012

Yeah man!

So, dear readers, let me tell you a story. This is a story of a friend, we called him "Yeah Man". We called him this because the most memorable thing about him was how he would stand with his arms crossed, bob his head, and say "Yeah man!" when agreeing to something. It was hilarious.

Yeah Man was one of those guys who are so engorged by self-belief, that they feel invincible. An opportunist, he would always be looking for the next form of excitement, ranging from mushroom trips to his personal favourite, Butane. However, he was malleable. A follower. It mattered no though, as this was always the cause of hilarity too. When trying to convince him of something, you could hear his mind changing. His dialogue would go from "Nah man!" to "Maybe man!" and then to "It's possible man!" to "Yeah man!". all the while bobbing his head.

Now, me and my circle of friends knew that Yeah Man lived by the saying "If you're gonna do it, do it big", but one Sunday afternoon was saw "doing it big" get taken to a whole new level.

As the college was Catholic, on a Sunday we would have to travel in buses, en masse, to the local church in order to celebrate Zombie Jesus or something. Normally we would go to the congregation pleasantly buzzed from some fine leafy greens, and Yeah Man had talked of eating magic mushrooms beforehand. We warned him against the idea, citing the risk involved for himself and those around him. However he was adamant that he do it.

So on that particular Sunday, that crazy motherfucker ate 50 Psilocybe Cubensis mushrooms, and went to church.

When I saw him, the first thing I noticed was his face. Drained of all colour, he resembled a store mannequin.
Then his eyes. His pupils, the size of dinner plates. No colour left in his eyes.
Oh, and the bobbing of the head.

My good friend The Bird came to me for advice. As Yeah Man's best friend, he felt obliged to stay by his side, sober, to guide him through the afternoon. But he was worried. He explained to me that Yeah Man was plunged so far deep into a psychoactive pit that he had suffered complete ego loss. He know longer knew of himself, his friend nor family. All he knew was to follow The Bird.

See, nobody knows what happened to Yeah Man at that church service. I didn't wish to associate him in the state that he was in, and neither did anybody else. So he hung around the back, flitting among the edges of the pews, absorbed in his own world. He refuses to say what he learnt from that day, and up until today still doesn't talk about it. But he was changed. He had not only toed the point of no return, he had leaped over it.

Probably while bobbing his head.


  1. I laughed the whole way through this incredible story... great 2-minute read, glad I'm following.

  2. I heard that psylocibe mushrooms+church=mystical visions but im not sure of it :D I ate 40 of em but i wasnt in church